Courting or Dating?

"You must give to the Bible attention with intention, and it is intention that will necessitate attention...We must know what we are about."

-Henrietta Meaks

The Lord led me to write this after reading a friends post on Facebook.  She had a conversation with a young man who said the difference between sexy and slutty was the difference between attitude and when there is no guess work needed.  It was suggested men who are serious about a woman appreciate modesty while those who were looking for a fling went to those who put themselves out there.  This made me think.  Is there a difference between courting and dating?


Scripture does not specifically define dating; however, we are given direction on how to relate to one another.  According to Dictionary.com, courting is "to try to win the favor, preference, or goodwill of; to seek the affections & love..." Dating on the other hand is defined as "a social appointment, engagement, or occasion".  The word date in itself implies that this is only for a time, perhaps for the night.  Courting sounds more involved as if one were intentionally making an investment of time and care to win the "favor and goodwill" of someone important.

God tells us that an examination of self is necessary when relating to others.  Ask yourself some questions: is my relationship with Him one that is secure, faithful, and loving? Am I spending time with Him daily making it priority #1? 1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling...their own houses well."  Am I leading as an example of Christ, is my house in order?

After that, show and prove. Are you and your mate equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14)? Does he/she have a relationship with Christ? I don't mean "do you know Jesus?" ask if there is a relationship with Jesus.  If the answer is yes, watch and see.  If the answer is anything other than yes, then this may be your opportunity to share the Gospel, plant the seed, and win two new relationships-one with God and one with you. This was the case with me and my husband.  My seed was planted and the Lord used him to be my watering can.  My husband courted me.  The only date we made was our wedding date.


Easton's Bible Dictionary defines dating as "the point in time at which a transaction or an event takes place...; and assigned end, a conclusion".  On the other had the definition of courting is "top endeavor to gain the affections of, to seek in marriage, to woo".

I urge you to think about this before you step on your next "date".  Are you putting yourself out there to be courted or dated?